You were unfortunate to come into contact with members of the Barelwi sect. This corruption is rife in the Indo-pak subcontinent where it originated from and has no adherents outside the Indian community. This group holds many un-Islamic beliefs and have incorporated many Hindu and Shirk customs and practices into their doctrine. Many Ulama have written detailed refutations of these evils in the Urdu language, among them, Moulana Muhammad Yusuf Ludyanwi Shaheed (RA) whose outstanding book, ‘Differences in the Ummah and the Straight Path’ has been translated into English and is available from the Madrasah Arabia Islamia, Azaadville, South Africa.
To help clear your confusion, we will briefly address the issues raised in your correspondence.
Allah Ta’ala commands in the Qur’aan, ‘O you who believe! Fear Allah and be with the Saadiqeen (truthful ones).’ (Tawbah). Here, it is inferred that company of the pious is instrumental in assisting one towards the goal of Taqwa (fear of Allah). It is therefore, imperative that such a pious one be ‘Muttabi us Sunnah’ (a strict adherent of the Sunnha) so as to advise and assist others in attaining this goal. Such a person is indeed worthy of respect within the limits prescribed by the Shari’ah. It also follows that one who is himself involved and encourages practices and customs contrary to the Sunnah can never assist others except in Dhalaal (misguidance).
Many great and worthy personages and staunch upholders of the Sunnah have contributed tremendously to the service of Deen and have since left this world. They were indeed great ‘Awliyaa’ (friends) of Allah. Sadly, after their demise, some ignorant members of society fell into a great mischief. With hollow claims of Ta’zeem (according honour) and Muhabbat (love), they have began perpetrating such heinous evils that shake the very foundations of Deen. Were the Awliyaa, in whose names these are carried out, alive, they would have been the first to outlaw them. Among these evil practices, hereunder are some of them:
Kissing or Bowing before Graves
Among all the evils perpetrated by these persons, these are surely the most heinous. Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) had expressly forbade that any person prostrate before him. He said, ‘Were I to command anyone to prostrate before another, I would have commanded the wife to do so before her husband.’ (Targheeb).
The learned scholars of Islam have clearly stated that such innovations are absolutely Haraam and in some situations, even Kufr. This can be understood from the following text (extracted from authoritative works):
"Whoever bows to the king with the intention of Ibaadat, becomes a Kaafir (disbeliever)'. It appears in Khulasa that, ‘whoever prostrates before them with the intention of Ta’zeem (showing honour) like the Ta’zeem of Allah Ta’ala, he will become Kaafir. If his intention is just a greeting, some Ulama have accepted the view that he will not become a Kaafir (but such an act is Haraam). This is the most apparent view. Some Ulama, however, hold the view that he will become Kaafir in all cases. Concerning kissing of the ground, this is very close to bowing, except that placing the forehead or the cheek on the ground is worse than the cheek.’" (Fataawa Mahmoodiya vol.10 pg.60 quoting Fiqh Sharhul Akbar).
“Bowing to any besides Allah is Haraam.” (Ibid)
“The best method when visiting the graveyard is to place one’s back towards the Qibla while facing the Mayyit (deceased) and make Salaam. The hands should not be passed over the grave, nor should it be kissed or touched, for such is the custom of the Christians.” (Ibid from Tahtaawi)
“One should not cling to a grave nor touch it … one who is learned should inform and warn others against those innovations perpetrated by the ignorant, that Tawaaf (circumambulation) of the holy grave of Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) takes place as around the Ka’bah and that the hands be passed over it or that it be kissed.” (Ibid from Mudkhal)
The above quotations should be sufficient to portray the magnitude of perpetrating these acts of Shirk.
Strewing of Flowers Upon Graves
Mufti Mahmoodul-Hasan Gangohi (RA) has aptly replied to this question. He writes, "Strewing flowers or Chadars (shawls) upon graves is incorrect. Although it has been narrated that Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) had planted branches upon two graves, this was only because the occupants of those graves were suffering punishments. Then too the blessed hands of Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) were used (which is not insignificant). When using this as substantiation for the practise of strewing flowers upon the resting places of the pious servants of Allah Ta’ala, is it then done out of the belief that these great personages, Allah forbid, are suffering divine punishments? Also, aside from those two graves, it is not established that Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) planted branches on any other occasions.” (Fataawa Mahmoodiyya vol.1 pg.195; Mazhari)
We wish to add that should one sincerely wish to practise upon the Hadith, which cannot in any case be a basis for establishing Sunniyyaat (a practise being Sunnah), why adhere to flowers, an item according great importance by the Hindu religion?
Return of the Souls of Dead Persons to the World
While it is possible for a Jinn to enter the body, it is highly unlikely that souls of pious persons return to the world to indulge in such activities. To believe such is in fact contrary to many reliable Ahaadith. The following excerpt of the Hadith of Tirmidhi Sharif, one of the Sihah Sitta is quite conclusive in this regard:
“... his grave is then widened to the extent of 70 Ziras (cubit lengths) by 70 Ziras. Thereafter, an illumination is placed therein. It is then said to the deceased, ‘sleep’. He asks, ‘Can I return to my family to inform them?’ The angels say, ‘Sleep the sleep of a newly wed who is awakened only by his most beloved.’ (He will remain in this state) until he is resurrected from that resting place by Allah Ta’ala." (Ibid vol.10 pg.79; from Mishkat)
Furthermore, the practise of Qawaali wherein musical instruments are played is Haraam and contrary to the very prophethood of Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam), part of whose objectives were the destruction of musical instruments. Wearing of rose flower necklaces is a practise without any basis in Shari’ah.
Recital of Durood before Adhaan
Abdur-Rahmaan ibn Abi Laylha (Radhiallaahu Anhu) narrates that Ka’ba ibn Ujra (Radhiallaahu Anhu) met me in the Musjid. He said to me, ‘Should I not gift to you something that I had heard from Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam)?’ I replied, ‘Most certainly please do so.’ He said, ‘We asked Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam), ‘O Rasul of Allah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam), How should we sent salaat (blessings) upon you (and) the Ahlul-Bayt (members of your household). For Allah Ta’ala has shown us only how to send salaams (salutations) upon you (but not Salaat)?’ Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) replied, ‘Say, O Allah send Salaat (blessings) upon Muhammad (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) like how you sent them upon Ibraahim (Alayhis salaam). Verily thou art most worthy of praise, most honourable (the formula of Durood-e-Ibraahim).’ (Bukhari and Muslim)
In this Hadith (tradition), Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) taught his Sahaaba (Radhiallaahu Anhu) the way of sending Salaat and Salaam (blessings and salutations) upon him. Also we see no similarity between the way taught by Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) and the baseless custom prevailing nowadays. Undoubtedly, Salaat is a powerful blessing and a means of great rewards, provided it is carried out in the way shown by our beloved Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam). Neither has Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) nor the Sahaaba (Radhiallaahu Anhu), Taabi’een (RA) and pious predecessors specified any time or mode for reciting of Durood and Salaam as is the practise nowadays. Neither did any of the Sahaab nor Taabi’een carry out the practise that is now prevalent, rather they strongly opposed such innovations. To specify certain times, e.g. after Fardh (obligatory) prayers or after Jummu’ah, likewise, after Adhaan and to recite in a loud voice or in group form, etc. and regard these practises as necessary and part of Deen is undoubtedly an innovation.
It is narrated that Ibn Mas’ood (Radhiallaahu Anhu) once heard of a group that had gathered in a Musjid reciting the Kalimah and Durood and Salaam in a loud voice. He immediately confronted them and said, ‘This is a practice we have not seen in the time of Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam). I see you all to be only Bidaaits (innovators).’ He continued to say this until he had chased them all out of the Musjid. (Bazzaariyyah and Shaami). Most definitely, we should make it a practise torecite Durood and Salaam on Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) as much as possible, but we should be careful to do this only in the way shown by Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) himself. (Ahsanul Fataawa vol.1 pg.363; HM Saeed)
Although ‘Assalaatu was Salaamu Alayka yaa Rasulullah’ is a valid Durood, it is better to adopt these forms of Durood relayed by the Ahaadith. One collection of such Durood and Salaam of Shaykhul Hadith Moulana Zakariyya (RA)
Photographs / Video Cameras
The images appearing on live or recorded programs are not the pictures in the strict sense envisaged in the Ahaadith of Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam), unless they are printed in a durable form on paper or any other object. However, they are not free of resemblance to such. It is apparent that these fall into the category of Mushtabihaat (matters of clarity and confusion). Nabi (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said, ‘Halaal is clear and Haraam is clear. Between them lie Mutashaabihaat, not known to many of the people. Whoever, abstains from these protects his Deen and honour. Whoever falls therein, falls into Haraam.” (Arba’een Nawawi)
Lastly, one should not feel perturbed at being labelled a Wahhabi as true adherents of the Sunnah are generally called such names by the perpetrators of Bid’at (innovations)
and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best
The answer is correct,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai